Thanks for the responses, @Former-Member and @CherryBomb. 

To answer your question about how things work with me and the man I live with, @Former-Member, I think relationship has been going well for the most part for quite some time. A part of this is probably the amount of time we have been in the relationship (13 years). It was certainly a lot harder earlier on. As @CherryBomb mentioned, there have been some boundaries established over time. I have taken many steps to avoid the explosive anger I had earlier in the relationship. This never happens now. On his part, knowing I am easily triggered and disturbed when he goes into dark and scary monologues about his inner world, he keeps these to himself more than he used to. The communication is not really our strong point but we have learned from each other nonethless. Love is a strong point between us and that counts for a lot. When I say love, I mostly mean genuine friendship and caring. For me, that is the most important thing in any human relationship.

When it comes to the forum, I can't say I have felt really safe engaging here at all since the suicide of a friend's daughter not long ago. This triggered memories of other suicides in my life and just made me feel too vulnerable somehow to deal with others' pain. Tonight's webinar is the first real engagement at SANE I've had for quite some time. I plan to be part of more of this series as a way of re-engaging.