Lived Experience Forum

[BlueGuitar101]

I’ve been depressed over 10 years now at the age of 32. Most likely due to my absent alcoholic father who left during my younger years followed by a toxic relationship during the teens. Since then I’ve never been the same. I grew anxiety and depression after being unhappy living at home. In my mid twenties I left home and moved abroad which opened my eyes and made me feel incredible. Unfortunately over the last year or so I developed a gambling addiction which has sent me back into a hole where most weeks I contemplate living. My current relationship is on the brink of destruction because of this. 
I am not sure what direction to head in, what support to get, how to get my life on track. I always feel like there is something that will always come back to ruin my life. Is it me? Will I ever be ok?

[tyme]

Dear @BlueGuitar101 ,

Thank you for sharing what you are going through. It certainly takes a lot of courage to reach out.

It is good to see you being able to reflect on what has worked for you in the past. It sounds like you have somewhat of an understanding about what you ideally want like to look life, but the question is, How?

By connecting with peers here on the forums, I hope you feel less alone in what you are going through.

Do you have supports in place to help you work through the challenges of gambling (if this is something you want to change)? e.g. Gambler's Anonymous, or https://gamblershelp.com.au/

Please know there IS help out there. Seeing you have felt what it's like to feel "free", I wonder if this is something you can work towards again?

For me, the early 20s was also a tricky time for me. It was as though the transition from teenagehood to adulthood was a whole new world... and really, I struggled. I struggled to find myself, connect with people, and understand my place in the world. It wasn't until I was about 33 when I was really ready to get help. This was when things began to change. I've never regretted it.

I hope and pray that you will also find the support you need.

[D1ng0]

Hey @BlueGuitar101, I hope you're doing alright when you read this. Definitely do seek gambling help if you haven't already. Communication with your current partner is also really important, so you can let them know that you are seeking support for your addiction. If your partner is frustrated or upset with your gambling, it's crucial to let them know that you recognise that gambling is a problem in your life, and you do want to live differently. It's also crucial that you are given the understanding and patience that you need. Involving your loved one in this recovery really matters.

I know how it feels to have your life completely disrupted by addiction. You're not alone, and there are many of us who are okay. There is hope.

There is a government page dedicated to gambling help resources, you might find it useful. https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/gambling-help

There are also area-specific services.