My Mosaic

[Bow]

Did you get some adulting done this week @Jynx ? Or you busy with the conference thingy? 

Yeah still lots of unpacking and sorting things. Nearly got my room how I like it. I picked up some furniture from marketplace during the week that I will upcycle and we are picking up some more tomorrow. Still lots to do downstairs though. 

and my psych confirmed my suspicions yesterday that she is pregnant. She’s on leave now for a month… back mid July. And then goes on maternity leave early September. So while this solves all my issues of not trusting her and not feeling completely comfortable with her and all the issues I’ve had.,,. It’s starting again. It’s the unknown. She even hinted at it being completely ok and normal for people to just have a break in therapy …. Hmmmm 

my SW has been away sick the last 3 days… so I’ve really had no one to vent/talk/download to about it. 

[Jynx]

@Bow bit of adulting, the decluttering has begun!! I am going suuuuper slowly tho 🫣

Niiice an upcycling project!! Do you do much furniture stuff? I feel like it's something I would actually probably enjoy hey!

Oh my! Big news indeed hun, and it's okay to have some really mixed feelings about it hey.

It is totally okay and normal to take a break from therapy! We can get burnt out on everything, and our therapy journey is no exception in my opinion.

But also, sometimes we take breaks so we can focus on instead putting what we've already learned into practice, and building our coping skills, resilience, distress tolerance, etc. into our day-to-day. I've totally done this before, and then started up with a new therapist when I felt like my recovery had plateaued again. 

What feelings came up for you when she mentioned that?

Got more you wanna 'download'? We wanna hear it! 😋

[Bow]

Oh the big declutter has begun! That’s big @Jynx  and taking it slow is totally fine and a good idea. 
I’m still decluttering…. Imagine all the stuff we’re gonna throw out that we moved for no reason?!!

No I don’t do much furniture. It’s such a big job and often involves sanding..,, which I hate! Cause of my shoulder I’m gonna strip the paint instead with these pieces… just gotta make sure I wear a mask and got good ventilation. 

I think my immediate thought when she hinted at having a break was…. She probably thinks I don’t need therapy anymore cause I’m not engaging with her much, skipping sessions, struggling to open up and all. But it’s her I struggle with. It’s her that I don’t trust. It’s her that I don’t feel comfy with. I guess it would be easy for her to cross me of her books and not do any hand over and dump and run. 

I’m not sure given my recent struggles… episodes whatever, I just don’t think it would be wise to not have some kind of therapy. 

[Jynx]

@Bow oh my gosh haha that's actually... kind of a good point!! Thanks for inadvertedly motivating me 😅 Cos if I had to move suddenly there would be SO MUCH CRAP getting carted off... only to get thrown out from a whole new location 🤣

I dipped a toe in sanding so I feel that! Maybe we both ought to invest in a belt sander? LOL

Sounds like you know where your needs are at!! So would you prefer her to do a proper handover and find you a psych, or do you think you'll try to find one on your own or...?

[Bow]

Like we did throw a lot out before moving @Jynx  we had 3 council clean ups, a garage sale and 2 full car loads to the charity shops. But the amount we threw into bags and boxes last minute… Urgh. 
i think a good declutter once a year is always a good idea. 

Hmmm sanding belt… will have to look at what that is! 

affordability is always a big thing for me. A psych through comm mh is free… but do I waste time again if they aren’t a good fit? There are 2 psychs that I want to ask about as a replacement.., my old psych. I know she still sees clients at health. And then there is another psych there that she helped with the DBT group that I did and then she also works at the private clinic that I went to and I chatted with her a bit there too. She works on a different team though I think, which I’m sure they make a huge issue out of when it shouldn’t be! 
The team that I am under, from my understanding there is only 2 psychs, mine and a guy. I’m not sure how I would feel about the guy. I’ve actually spoken with him alot and he seems to get me, he actually asks the right questions, knows my risks and stuff.., and if my usual supports aren’t available he is often who calls me… and who id probably prefer to talk to due to the above mentioned. I’m just not sure how I’d go working through trauma stuff and all that kinda stuff. Maybe it could be good for me? But maybe not? 

[Jynx]

@Bow yeah honestly I am thinking it's a habit I wanna get into more!! 

Maybe we ought to have like, the declutter club or something here 😋

Coooould always just give it a go and see what happens? I mean, in that way you will already know the psych is 'safe enough' cos they're familiar, you know? And like yeah, maybe a male presence is what is needed at the moment? Obviously this is TOTALLY very dependent on individual circumstances but a friend of mine remarked to me once that she preferred male therapists cos they had been better equipped to challenge her. Maybe for you it's the opposite tho and a gentle male presence could be super healing? All sorts of ways to look at it really. 

I hope I'll catch ya over the weekend! You got much on?

[Bow]

Yeah need to have a good think about it…. Talk to some peeps about it too eh @Jynx 

picking up a bunnings van in the morning to pick up this furniture. That’ll take the morning. Might then work at putting my art area together some more. Sunday- not sure yet.  I’ll be around some yo annoy ya though 

[Bow]

Hey @Jynx  hows the decluttering going? You got yourself a maybe crate that I suggested? So you ruthless Jynx and regretful Jynx can both be happy?

I got one downstairs at the moment 

[Jynx]

Did you also suggest a 'maybe' crate? Ach you're so good @Bow 

I ran out of time to get more boxes from Bunnings today! Ooooops 😅

But I was thinking of getting some more tubs from Kmart and they're open 24 hours. But then what if I end up with an excess of tubs? 

Will I regret that? Who is to say? 😝

[Bow]

Yes! Maybe crates are so handy and good @Jynx  you said ruthless Jynx throws stuff out.,,, but then you got  regretful Jynx when ya need that stuff you tossed. Maybe crates you can sort back through in 6mths or so. 

can never had too many crates! And Kmart have a good sized crates for $5. We got heaps when we moved.