My Mosaic

[Bow]

You sleep ok last night @Snowie ?

not sure how I’m feeling today to be honest. I’ve just seen the medical doctor and he is happy with how I am. Said he is clearing me medically. Waiting for psych to come around, who knows when that will be and what they will say 🤷🏼‍♀️😩

Shopping by yourself sounds nice and telling a little lie so you can do what you need to for you is ok. 

spiders are yuck too! Always scared of coming across a funnel web here. We had lots of red backs at our other place. Some really big fat juicy ones too. 

[Snowie]

I'm glad you are cleared medically @Bow but I'm guessing the psych could say anything and ask lots of questions.

Have you seen this psych before? Are you able to tell them how you feel?

(no need to answer that if you don't feel up to it)

Sleep was on and off, but been like that for awhile now.

Doesn't matter what type of spider we get, it gets squashed!!

It was nice just shopping by myself. Brought too much at kmart. Went for one thing and came out with a bag load!

[Bow]

Well that was very unexpected. Rather shocked.

Curled up in bed at home 😳 The psych reg didn’t really ask me many questions at all. Got the impression they he was gonna send me home as soon as he opened his mouth. Not many beds. And apparently cause I have plenty of support in the community they just decided to send me home. 

Still nothing from my SW or CM. 

[AuntGlow]

This would be so incredibly tough @Bow... I can imagine you must feel really disheartened right now. You absolutely deserve all the support you can get at the moment. 

So, you're at home now, is that right? ❤️

[Eve7]

I am so sorry @Bow . That happened to me recently too but at least I do have a good pdoc.

I don’t know what to say other than we are here for you and always only a tag away. I only hope your cm and sw can lift themselves and provide you with better support.

💙💙💙

[Bow]

As much as I hate being in there, sometimes there is a time for it. It’s needed. Even if just for a little while. It is disheartening @AuntGlow 

yes I am home now. hiding in my bed. 

I will not hold my breath that they will lift their game. It is the lack of support that contributed to my spiral @Eve7 

[Eve7]

You really sound like you’d benefit from an admission if only a couple of weeks @Bow 

It is so hard battling mental health without adequate support. Surrounding you with gentle hugs 🫂 🤗 

[AuntGlow]

I understand this @Bow. 💛

I am wondering if there is a way you can create as much support and structure around yourself as possible? What else do you feel like you would need as part of your care plan in order to achieve this? 

(You don't have to answer this right now, I know this is a big question).

We can also just focus on getting through today, if that helps? Whatever you need, I am here. 

[Snowie]

@Bow whilst I'm glad you are home, I do understand that need to get that extra help being admitted. It's a shame the psych didn't support you.

I'm sorry to hear about your supports and lack of support. You certainly do not deserve that. You deserve to be surround by support.

I know it's not the same, but we are here for you.

[Bow]

@AuntGlow  I can do my best to create structure, although I lack motivation and energy at the moment- has been that way for some weeks, I have lost interest in things that use to bring me joy and every day tasks feel so overwhelmingly difficult. 
Supports…. I don’t even know what is available to me at the moment. My psychologist is away until mid July and then she is going on maternity leave and I’m not allowed to talk to anyone about what my therapy is going to look like and what options are available to me when she leaves. That is an awfully long time to sit in anxiety and the unknown. I haven’t heard from my SW at all and she is away all of next week. My CM said is only available Wednesday-Fri and she is so busy she only can squeeze me in once a fortnight. I’m due to see my pdoc in a couple of weeks, but he still feels new and I don’t really feel comfortable with him. 

so yes, discharge me home with heaps of support 😩

dinner soon. I’m not really hungry. Haven’t really eaten much since., waking up. No appetite. Then just tv and bed.