Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

[Shaz51]

That is wonderful advice @Former-Member

I have saved this on my computer -- thank you xx

and how are you tonight my friend @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Good weekend @Shaz51, had friends visiting. Took a couple of days off and visited some tourist spots.

Yesterday had not one but two coffees, a scone and a great natter with understanding friend.

Last week Mr Darcy said that he is not doing things as well as he used to (which is the case), he has not been able to work due to his health. This is new emotional territory for him (+ me):as his major depression has lifted but cognitive function is down, time will tell how he copes. He does see a psychologist but am not sure if he will discuss this with her.

I have noticed from your posts that you are a talented person and have skills I could only dream of (such as running your own business). Can I encourage you to give yourself a pat on the shoulder and recognise one job you are particularly good at? Can I also encourage you to give Mr Shaz one compliment today too? I plan on doing this today to help keep the husband - wife relationship going rather than feeling like his mother as you suggested is often the case.

Darcy

[Decadian]

Hi @Shaz51

It was quiet in here yesterday morning and when I got on-line for a short while last night there was more here than I could cope with - but I thought I would get back to the subject of your hubby's MI and how you feel more like his mother than his wife - and then - the story moved on from that to your sil being controlling and organising a birthday party for him and really taking over

And as I read down the memory I was having of him not wanting to go out to things arose - is he likely to want to go to his birthday party when the time comes? It has left me feel like watching a TV series when suddenly the words "To be Continued" pop up and I have to wait and see what happens

I seem to remember that you were 43 when you either met your hubby or married him - so I guess he is around the same age - and my ex bf was an old bachelor - some years younger than me and very much stuck in his ways - and influenced by his crabby old father - maybe your hubby still is under the control of his bossy sister - eg sister/wife role -

I hope the party turns out well and that your hubby decides to go and you take the cake - literally - and make it a beauty - his favourite

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

Yes - your husband wants to control everything - your situation is different - I grew up a generation earlier and my parents were very controlling and I fought against it - and I do not like having anyone trying to control me

Both of you girls have something in common though - neither of your guys with MIs been dxd - and I  wonder about that - we know that have the idea that they have an MI and they may be right - but what kind of MI

The women with MIs who post here seem to admit to it and even have a name for it - and fight their fight with it -

It must be very hard being the wife, partner, carer. friend or whomever of a guy with an MI - it comes across very strongly her

I think of both of you a lot

Dec

[Shaz51]

Thank You @Former-Member xx

our husbands are similar in a lot of things

Mr Shaz said that he is not doing things as well as he used to as well , he turns 57 in a few weeks and he says he is feeling old

we have cut back on our business a lot over the years

Yes I agree , I tell Mr shaz that I am soo proud of him as this is the longest time he has had a job in his whole life

hope you are having a good day today xx

[Shaz51]

hello @Decadian

suddenly the words "To be Continued" pop up and I have to wait and see what happens -- I love you comment -- yes  I have a smile on my face when I read it -- that is my life

I must say it is getting a lot better than before

oh we will be going to his party

Hubby is 4 years older than me , he has been married before

we don`t live in the same town as SIL , hubby would hate that

[PeppiPatty]

Ahh, the ups and downs of husbands MI.

If you see on the carers Ive put a problems down with my husband too, @Decadian, @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member will hopefully know what Im talking bout.

My darling husband is very grouchy but he is trying very hard not to be but words slip out. 

When I go to Office works today, can I print out my first page of the novel Im writing?

I also bought a book today which got from 'Elizabeth's Second Hand Bookshop and it's by my absolute fav. author called Anne Tyler. My desire to own first edition books and signed books are falling by the wayside because this is what I would love more than anything and they are all being snatched up all over the world.....

What are everyone elses hopes for the future? Does it get harder with the husband's MI ?

[Decadian]

Amazing @Shaz51 - that your husband is starting to feel "old" and he is a young guy -only 57

I wouldn't mind being 57 but I really don't want to live the last years over again

But I must say I don't feel old - I feel tired today - and if I think about it - January is the time of year when I feel tired and at least the time is passing and it will turn into February soon

Dec

[Shaz51]

@PeppiPatty , Does it get harder with the husband's MI ? -- that is a good question

I don`t know the answer but a lot of carers have found that Their husband`s MI changes over time

Hello @Decadian, yes He says it is the meds , but i like him to go to the doctors for a check up to see if something else is happening

[PeppiPatty]

Hi @Decadian @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Shimmer

Dunno about you all, Im fallng asleep all day and yesterday. Im making myself go to a friends place tomorrow and Im forcing myself to clean her place............

Mr G's gift is his desperate need to keep me happy.

I can see how his actions is to help himself stay safe. I can see that his very restricted actions, his no insight is so he can get through.

Thank you all and @Shaz51 for listening to me.........

[Decadian]

Hi @Shaz51

I agree that your husband needs a dx - I gather that he hasn't had one

Maybe the medication he is taking isn't the right kind for him - he might be a lot better with something else

Something more appropriate

I have the feeling - I could be wrong - that he likes things to be a certain way and doesn't like change - so I don't fancy your chances of getting him to have a dx - ah - does he get his medication from a psychiatrist or from his GP - I know GPs can prescribe some medication but not everything

All the best with that - and his birthday dinner - I am looking forward to hearing about the birthday cake

Dec